A visit to The School of Life

This week I went on quite a brave adventure.... I paid a visit to The School of Life to take part in one of their evening classes - 'How to Have Better Conversations'.

*Image credit The School of Life

I first heard about The School of Life about six months ago, when Pobs was telling me about how they'd set up a school in Melbourne. For a good few months I would visit their website, look at the classes, think about how excellent they were, and then well... chicken out.

The School of Life is not only a very lovely shop selling books and ideas for everyday life, they also hold a variety of workshops and classes to help people to learn more about themselves and others, starting from the most basic of topics such as 'How to Have Better Conversations'! Their blog is pretty awesome too.

Gathering nervously, introducing ourselves and enjoying a little bit of a buffet!

I was one of the first to arrive (eager beaver!), the shop was quiet with only a couple of people there before me, but as soon as I walked in I managed to get into a conversation with someone. Ahead of the class we'd been asked to prepare some notes on "your most life changing conversation". Well, first off just being asked to do that a week before the class meant that I had some very interesting conversations with my friends, just trying to think of what could be THE most life changing conversation I'd ever had. There are so many! A theme which came up seemed to be that something bad happened, I had a conversation, then I changed my life. I did have some nice ones, but I won't go into them for fear of going on!

So, we shared our life changing conversations over some yummy nibbles and a glass of wine. It was exciting to be in the same boat as everyone else - very few people came with someone, and that was what was important to me. There is nothing more exhilarating than throwing yourself in at the deep end, finding that you can swim, no one is going to let you drown and in fact you're pretty awesome at it.

The class took place downstairs in a very plush room with lovely patterned walls and rows of chairs - a creative space. Hugo, our lecturer talked us through conversation through history, how conversation has evolved, and types of conversations. There was plenty of opportunities to practice too - we were asked several times to stand up and speak to a person we'd never spoken to before about the topic in hand. Difficult conversations was one of them and we were asked to speak to one person about the conversations we find most difficult and why. It was really eye opening.

I spoke to a HR Manager who spends his day job sacking people (well i'm sure that's not all he does, but you get my point!), yet found it more difficult to sack his own team. I think that made sense, but he said he beats himself up about it. I told him about how I have my most difficult conversations with people I care about and friends. I hate to 'rock the boat' for fear of that person leaving, no longer being my friend anymore - and about the smallest things! However I can talk to my manager at work about my tasks with no fear whatsoever. Having been a freelancer in the past I have the confidence to know what my limits are, that I can manage my own workload and if that can't be agreed between a manager and myself, well hey ho off I go! (sort of... shhh please don't sack me Ian). It's so interesting to notice the situations where we have fear and where we do not. Even more interesting to recognise, challenge and change those fears for positive. 

All in all, I cannot recommend a visit to The School of Life any more strongly. For the cost of a standard dinner and drinks, I spent a fantastic evening exploring ideas, meeting new people and learning from them. The experience just keeps on giving too, not only did I make a couple of new friends, but since my evening I've had some fantastic conversations with people I know, and far different conversations than those we usually have, all based around this experience! I plan to pay them another visit soon.

What parts of conversation do you find most challenging? What types of conversations you find most easy or difficult? I'd love to hear your thoughts!